Gaining respect from your boss, your work mates or anyone else you come into contact with isn’t necessarily something you receive automatically.
Sometimes you have to earn it.
Sometimes it takes standing up for yourself or others, or a particular point of view or a particular set of values.
When you do this well, you can earn the respect of the person who may have expressed a different point of view or position to you.
And when you resolve the disagreement with that person and you both get on the same page, this can elevate you in that person’s eyes dramatically.
So today, let’s go through how to gain the respect of anyone you come into contact with, including a hiring manager who is interviewing you.
First up, keep in mind that when you’re looking for work, the easiest way to get the job is when the hiring manager WANTS you.
The easy way to do that is to use Connectzapp when you’re looking for work because when you do, each hiring manager can see you’re a good candidate for the job they need filled. Which puts you in a strong position to be offered the job right from the start.
The way it works is you enter the details of the job you want. You’re then given a list of jobs that are a great match for you, ranked in order with the best matched job at the top.
You then swipe through each job, choose the ones you’re most interested in, put those into your shortlist, then contact those hiring managers direct.
It’s easy and quick. And each hiring manager can see you’re a good candidate for the job so they WANT to talk to you!
So go to Connectzapp.com or get the app on the App Store or Google Play and make you’re job hunting easy!
Ok, so let’s go through the 4 steps you can take to command more respect in any situation, be more authentic and, when you’re in an interview, increase your chances of being offered the job.
1. Speak Up
The first step is to speak up.
When you’re in a conversation, which could be an interview, or a conversation with anyone really, if something isn’t right and you feel the need to set the person you’re speaking to straight, because what they’re saying or thinking is off target, then you need to speak up.
Sometimes it’s hard to do and it takes courage, particularly when you’re in a situation where you want the respect of the person you’re speaking to and you want them to have a positive impression of you.
But sometimes you can earn more respect from someone when you speak up, than when you tow the line and stay silent even when you know you something isn’t right.
It’s been said that honest conflict has more social value than dishonest harmony.
Now I’m not suggesting you start an argument with someone, particularly if you’re in an interview, however you DO need the courage to be authentic, speak up and set the record straight, so the person you’re speaking with has a clearer understanding of you and the situation you speaking about.
When you do this, it’s amazing how much MORE respect you receive, because it shows the person you’re speaking to that you’re a person of good character.
And that is definitely the message you want to portray when you’re being interviewed.
2. Acknowledge That You Don’t Enjoy Conflict
The second step is to let the person you’re speaking with know that you don’t enjoy conflict.
In other words, it’s a good idea to at first acknowledge the feelings and point of view of the other person, so they feel like you have empathy for their point of view or their position. Then clearly explain to them the issues with their point of view or position and why.
By doing it this way, you’re not being confrontational. You’re being empathetic and showing that you value the other person, and that because you do, you care enough about them and the situation or their position, that you feel like they need some genuine feedback on their position or view.
Now this can mean you may have some back and forth with the other person, and if that happens, then agree on the points you can agree on, but then call out the points that are not right.
When you do this and show true empathy for the person you’re speaking to, you’re saying to them I value you as a person, so I want you to carefully consider what I’m saying to you, for your own benefit.
3. Carefully Consider That Your Opinions May Be Fallible
Step three is for you to carefully consider that your opinions could also be wrong, or off the mark.
When you speak up and acknowledge you don’t enjoy conflict, consider that you may also be wrong or not see the full picture.
So be careful of making absolute statements like ‘You’re Wrong’ or ‘that doesn’t work’ unless you’re absolutely certain of what you’re saying.
If you’re not certain, but you feel the other person is wrong then listen to their point of view without interrupting, then carefully consider you’re response before its your turn to talk.
Doing this encourages a positive conversation
4. Confront A Particular Behaviour, Not The Person
This leads us to step number four, which is to confront a particular behavior, not the person.
When you have a disagreement with someone, or need to set the record straight, or feel the need to get across your point of view, whatever the situation you’re in, remember it’s not about the person you’re speaking with, it’s the behaviour or their point of view that you’re disagreeing with.
So when you speak up, never criticize the person. If you feel like you have to criticize, then criticize the behaviour or perception or opinion, never the person.
The reason for this is because people can change their perceptions or opinions.
They may be attached to them to by varying degrees, however if you show you value the person you’re speaking with by empathizing with them, then you can have a positive conversation about why their current perspective or point of view is not complete or is not doing them any favours.
So remember, you don’t have a disagreement with the person, you have a disagreement with a particular thought or behaviour pattern.
Remember, when you’re in a conversation with someone, whether that be an interview or some other situation, and you need their respect, you can use the 4 steps I’ve outlined today.
- Step 1 is to Speak Up
- Step 2 is to Acknowledge That You Don’t Enjoy Conflict
- Step 3 is to Carefully Consider That Your Opinions May Be Fallible
- Step 4 is to Confront A Particular Behaviour, Not The Person
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Good luck with your job hunting!