How To be Charming Without Trying (and win over anyone in a conversation or interview)

When you’re in a conversation, particularly an interview, showing your charisma is a great way to connect with the person you’re speaking to.

Everyone enjoys speaking with a charismatic person, yet a lot of us don’t think we are particularly charismatic ourselves.

But that’s not true. We can all be charismatic. We all have charisma.

So today I’ll take you through the top 4 tips you can use in a conversation with others that will put your charisma on display, so the other person or people in the conversation come away with a positive opinion of you.

1. Have a large smile and use it a lot

The first is to have a large smile and use it a lot

Smiles have more to do with our eyes than our mouth so when you smile, people instinctively look at your eyes.

We can all instinctively pick up when a smile isn’t genuine, so to have a big wide genuine smile, try to find the humour in things.

Laughing at yourself shows charisma and that you have high self esteem and are comfortable with yourself.

Most people are uncomfortable with laughing at themselves because they think it will hurt their social standing.

Many of us think we need to keep a serious demeanour, particularly when we’re at work or in a professional situation because the workplace can foster a competitive mindset.

On the contrary, having a big smile and having the willingness to laugh at yourself is actually a very charismatic thing to do.

So don’t restrain yourself from having a big beaming smile

That’s tip number 1.

2. Build Others Up

Tip 2 is to build people up, not put them down.

Praising the people around you builds your charisma.

You create massive good will when you lift up the people around you.

When you praise people, you’re acknowledging them for who they are and what they’ve done.

This makes them look good in front of the people in the conversation, but it also makes YOU look good because you’re showing a humbleness as well as empathy, which we all view as positive.

So tip number 2 is to build people up, not cut them down.

3. Raise The Energy Levels

Tip number 3 is to raise the energy levels in the conversation.

Most people mirror the energy levels in a room or conversation because it makes them feel like they’re part of the crowd, so they’ll fit in.

This is fine when you want to dissolve into the background, however if you’re in an interview, this isn’t a winning strategy.

The way to raise the energy levels in a conversation is to have fun and be enthusiastic.

People enjoy speaking to people who have higher energy levels, even in a business setting, so when you’re in an interview, stand out, be enthusiastic, have a large smile and be genuinely happy to be there and to meet the interviewer.

When you do, the other people in the room will respond positively to you.

So tip number 3 is to raise your energy levels in a conversation.

4. Be An Active Listener

Tip 4 is to be an active listener.

When you give the person who is talking your full attention, they feel validated and heard.

This makes them feel like they have a connection with you. It also means they like you.

This is important in an interview obviously, but it’s also great to do when you’re in a conversation with anybody.

Another way you can really show the person speaking that you’re listening to them and you value them and what they have to say, is repeat back what they’ve said. This shows you’re listening carefully to what they have to say and are interested in.

You don’t need to do this all the time obviously, but acknowledging what the other person is saying is a great way to build rapport with the other person and subtly say to them… ‘I hear what you’re saying and am interested in your point of view’.

So to sum up, the 4 top tips to show your charisma in a conversation or an interview are-

  1. Have a large smile and use it a lot
  2. Build others up
  3. Raise the energy levels in the conversation
  4. Be an active listener

When you work on these 4 things in any conversation, you’ll notice people are more positive and responsive to you.

So make them a habit. As the saying goes, first you make your habits and then your habits make you.

When you’re looking for work, the easiest way to be called in for a job interview is to get in front of hiring managers for companies that are after your skills and experience.

When a company seeks you out, it puts you in a very strong position when it comes to not only be offered the job, but also gives you the opportunity to negotiate the best salary.

The way to do that is to use Connectzapp.

The way it works is you enter the details of the job you want. You’re then given a list of jobs that best suit you, ranked in order, with the most suited job at the top.

You then swipe through each job, choose the ones you’re most interested in, put them into your shortlist and then contact those hiring managers or recruiters direct.

It’s easy and quick and the best part is each employer can see you’re a good candidate for the job so they want to talk to you.

If none of the jobs appeal, then just wait. Hiring managers will find you as they search, then contact you as they need someone.

So give it a try.

Go to or get the app.

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And lastly…

Good luck with your job hunting!

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